A Farewell or a new Beginning
by Traive87
Summary: Years after the war two former friends meet face to face. Much has changed, but emotions from a broken friendship still haunts them. Can they mend what was once broken or do they let it remain broken?


**Author's note: **This will be the first piece of mine which take the continued story within Terra battle into consideration. As always Dagran is never dead for me. I follow the no body no death way of thinking, and as long as TLS has plot holes the size of footballs in its story I shall continue believing that he survived :P

* * *

_At the edge of Hollow Village._

The sun glared in the autumn sky above Dagran. He sat with his back against a strong oak, watching the wind play with fall leaves. Their colors of red and yellow contrasted with the muted green grass beneath him. Horses graced in their large paddock and the stable doors were left open after the morning's work.

_He's not far away now. _He thought as he sniffed the air. Filling his nostrils with the scent of meat frying together with chopped onions and garlic. Looking to his left he could see Holly's shadow through the window. She was making today's dinner. _I'm glad her children are in school so I don't have to worry about them when meeting him for the first time in years._

Dagran looked down at his hand, seeing the faded black cross-shaped tattoo of the Outsider. His powers had changed after Zael reunited both halves and become its true wielder. It left him able to use magic that cost him energy to cast, but he'd lost the gathering skill. But even so, he still felt a connection with Zael since their power comes from the same source.

''I couldn't believe it when I sensed your power...but here you are.''

Dagran snorted. ''Thinking isn't one of your strengths, but after having revived Lowell I'd thought even you could put two and two together.''

Zael chuckled. ''The heart is lost without the brain I guess.''

''So it would seem...although you have a new brain these days in your beautiful girlfriend.''

Dagran made a beckoning gesture and waited until his former friend came out from behind the tree. He studied him as he sat down before him. The wild hair was longer than ever, reaching down below his shoulders. The unruly beard covering half of his face took him by surprise. He'd never thought of him with a beard before. _My vest has seen better days...as has most of his gear on closer inspection._

''You haven't changed at all.'' Zael's gaze regarded him with a dead look to them. The light in his different hue of blue eyes had gone out.

''And you look like shit,'' Dagran met his gaze. ''Even older than me in fact and I am a few years your senior.''

''Being wanted and on the run does that to a man.''

Dagran nodded. ''I heard what happened from Zoran.''

Zael blinked. ''I didn't think you were on speaking terms with him.''

''Turns out he knew me better than all of you combined. He never believed I died and looked for me. He found me about two years after the war and we patched together our friendship.''

''Bastard is as sneaky as ever. He never as much as hinted that you were alive.'' Zael ran a hand through his hair. A look of uncertainty overtook his rugged features. ''I could use your help-''

''I'm stopping you right there. I know what you came here for and the answer is no. I will not invest a second more of my time on you. You never appreciated it then and I've learned to value my time and efforts more since then. Only you can sort out the mess you put yourself in.''

Zael's eyes turned into slits. ''Are you still angry I put myself and Calista before you? That all of us had a change of heart? We cared about you, but we couldn't go through with working for Arganan on those terms. My refusal to become a knight was never intended as an insult-''

''Oi! You're going to hold that tongue of yours and listen good or I'll boot you out of this village so fast that you don't know what hit your self-righteous ass!'' Dagran dug his fingers into the ground. To keep himself in check. Anger from Zael's betrayal was still an open wound inside. ''How dare you insinuate that? I worked tirelessly for the count to ensure you and the other's happiness. Putting your needs before my own and that included you getting to marry Calista. But you lot couldn't even tell me that your wants and needs had changed. I'm not a fucking mind reader! All I ever heard was complaints about our lives. Never did you guys try to help out to better our situation and more often than not you made a mess of things and expected me to just cope with it.''

''I am tired Dagran. I have no will to argue, debate or justify. I am tired of this drama with you. No matter our intentions you still betrayed us.''

''I betrayed you? Ha! So that's what you've been telling yourself all this time? When you're discontented you focus on your own problems and do not think about what consequences your choices and words have on others.'' Dagran glared. Hoping his eyes could convey the emotion raging inside. ''You sound like an entitled, self-absorbed ass when belittling my pain by calling it drama. You take no responsibility for your actions which caused the rift between us in the first place.''

''Enlighten me of your pain then,'' Zael slammed his left fist on the ground.

''What's the point? When you don't care about the answer. I'll never understand what happened that summer on Lazulis Island. How we could change so much in such a short amount of time. It's like we became strangers that don't speak the same language.''

''You changed too you know,'' Zael said.

''Of course, I did, I never said I hadn't, but my change was because of you guys. But can you really blame me for it? When you lot threw it away it made all my efforts become a waste of time,'' Dagran paused to find his words. ''I became angry. Suddenly our old way of life and how we used to handle things were thrown out of the window and I was made out to be the bad guy. I was so confused when you got mad at me for framing Jirall when he'd done the exact same thing to you.''

''I will not apologize for having a conscience.''

''That's funny considering you seemed to have no conscience when it came to me or how I felt,'' Dagran looked over at the stone cottage. Trying to remember what Holly told him once. ''That's the thing that was hardest for me to accept after coming here...''

''What do you mean?''

Dagran smiled. ''I was bitter when getting off the boat I stole to flee from Lazulis island. Holly the woman who took me in has a special way about her. She told me to get all my bitterness of my chest and that she would listen to my tale of woe, but once I told her I would not be allowed to speak of the negative things again.''

''I still don't understand what that has to do with anything-''

''To her life has two sides. Good and bad and she hates when people only focus on the bad. People often getting angry with how others view their lives, but they don't stop to think about how they are portraying their lives. You can't get mad at someone for having the wrong image of your life if that's the way they paint their story,'' Dagran paused, finally seeing the light of understanding in his eyes.

''Your first instinct was to complain like we had done to you all those years.''

''Exactly, but she made me understand that our friendship wasn't a waste of time because it brought something good with it too, no matter how bitter it made me feel,'' Dagran said and chuckled. ''It confused me and I thought she did this because she had limited time to spend on me while caring for two children.''

''Well a parent's free time is more precious since they have so little of it,'' Zael smiled.

''Holly doesn't view her time as more precious than mine. It was her choice to have children and to limit her free time, but that doesn't make her time more valuable than anyone else's. If you think like that then you are disrespecting other people and their lives. You can't decide what their time is worth to them, only they can decide that. When someone gives you their time they are choosing to sacrifice something else for you.''

Zael shrugged his shoulders. ''It sounds good, but I kind of lost the point.''

''I had to accept that my friends did not respect my time and efforts. I don't blame you though, because I was foolish enough not to respect my own time and worth by setting boundaries and clarified any expectations I had on you.''

''I think I understand now...our friendship was unbalanced wasn't it?''

Dagran sighed and leaned his head against the tree trunk. Looking up at the sky through the colorful foliage. Trying to gather his thoughts into something coherent instead of that ball of hurt that lay tangled in the back of his mind. ''Yeah and I understand why you felt betrayed, but my hand was forced. I couldn't just quit like you did or I would have been a dead man. I was too deeply involved with court intrigues that I was stuck. When you guys abandoned our dreams and me...I finally began putting my own needs first.''

''I...must admit that I never thought about that,'' Zael said, his voice softening. ''So that's when you started working with the Gurak? Or did you do that all along?''

''I had established contact with them prior to that, but I became their ally after you refused your knighthood.'' Dagran met Zael's gaze again. Pain shot through his heart when seeing the relief in his eyes. He hadn't thought his opinion of him still mattered, but it did. ''I kept Calista alive when she was their hostage. I couldn't watch and see someone you love be murdered even if I never liked her.''

Zael smiled at that. ''Thank you...I'll always be grateful for that even if you didn't show Asthar the same curtsey.'' ''Zoran told me about that and for what it's worth I regret killing him and I wouldn't have had I known the full truth. Even as we dueled he never told me.''

''I believe you.''

''Thanks.''

* * *

Zael looked around, marveling at the peacefulness of this place. It had been the same going through the village on his way here even if the people had regarded him with a wary look in their eyes. It was like this place with its stone cottages and neat gardens were untouched by the war and the land's decay.

Meeting up with Dagran had so far not been as he'd imagined it. He had been pumped up to deliver a volley of his own thoughts, not to be lectured and called a bad friend. But looking back on it he did have a few points which made sense. He couldn't speak for the others, but he had taken Dagran for granted at times, even if he didn't mean too.

''So how's Calista doing after her near brush with death?''

Zael glanced back, struck by the authenticity in his expression. It was no secret that Dagran didn't like Calista at all, but he had changed. He had become softer even if his appearance was as sharp as ever. The braids were still pinned to the side of his head but hung loose down his back. His infamous beard was gone and replaced by a normal stubble. He wore his black hunter's outfit, but with a brown leather jacket. _I've never seen him not wear a weapon though..._

''In the beginning, she was pretty shaken, but she was in better health in her last letter. She even suspected being pregnant...''

Dagran whistled. ''Damn...now that's something. No wonder you're desperate enough to seek me out.''

''I won't ask you a second time for help, but the way you said it earlier made it sound like you knew what was going on?'' Zael asked.

He held up his left hand, showing him the pale mark of the Outsider. Zael looked at his own and compared them. His was red and hummed with strong power, while Dagran's felt different. _I don't get it?_

Dagran smirked, apparently amused as if he'd read his mind. ''You and Calista are connected with the Outsider and the planet targeted you because of it.''

''Even we have figured out that much, but we don't know exactly why. Our actions during the war stopped the draining of the land, shouldn't that make the planet happy?''

''The Outsider is a world seed that takes excess energy from planets it passes to create new ones. You two let it go before asking it to return some of the energy it took. Our planet is struggling without the Outsider. It knows of your powers and what you are capable of. You may have saved Calista, but your arm is proof that the planet is not done with you yet.''

Zael shook his head. ''I know it told us that, but surely it would give back the energy it didn't need? The Outsider only wanted to be free.''

''Have you forgotten that I had the mark? That half spoke to me as yours did to you. Since I wanted to rewrite history I made sure to get to know the power I was to wield. I learned first hand that it wasn't always forthright.'' Dagran drummed his fingers against his leather pants. ''It never said it could take control over its wielder, but when it did I learned a thing or two from it.''

Zael opened his mouth but closed it again. At a loss for words. He hadn't once suspected the Outsider of having its own agenda. Dagran had no reason to lie about that even if his first instinct had been to deny his words. ''So not only do I have my past regrets to live with, but also the fact that I failed our planet? How do you do it? Live with the lives you've destroyed I mean.''

A pained expression flashed over Dagran's face. ''I atone in my own way. For every life lost which I am to blame for, regardless of the consequences of the death. I help three lives to compensate for the lost one. I still have some way to go before I even my score, but it has helped me move on.''

Zael chuckled. ''Mirania once said something similar when I was wallowing in guilt.''

''Since you seldom took my advice I think you should take hers. She's always been a smart woman.''

''I will.''

''Oh, don't give me that look.''

_What? _Zael lifted his gaze from the grass and found a small tabby cat standing with its front paws on Dagran's pants. He scooped the cat into his arms and rocked it like a baby. Zael smiled at its loud purring. ''Now there's a sight I'd never thought I'd witness-''

''Dagran, is your friend joining us for dinner?'' A woman's voice interrupted.

''Would it cause you any trouble?''

''Silly man! I wouldn't have asked if I didn't have enough to go around. Dinner will be served in ten minutes so wash up the both of you before you come into my kitchen.'' she shouted back.

Dagran barked a laugh and winked, which resulted in a giggle echoing across the lawn. Zael watched the short and curvy woman turning back into the kitchen door. The blond braid swaying against the back of her green dress. ''You really have changed a lot these past years, and I'm happy you found someone to share your life with.''

''I have changed, but Holly and I aren't together. We're only friends.'' Dagran shifted the cat so her green gaze landed on him. ''This little one here is my partner these days.''

Zael nodded and smiled before standing up. He brushed the dust off his clothes as Dagran rose from his spot. Without saying another word he followed him towards the stone cottage at the edge of Holly's farm. It was a well-kept house with a small vegetable garden. The two windows facing them even had matching curtains. _He's put down roots...I guess he's really been truthful._

* * *

Dagran secured the straps on the satchel and placed it on the outdoor table. Cookie was sitting on his chair, eyeing the bag intently. Looking as if he was planning to give away her most prized possession.

The breeze felt warm despite the cloudy sky. It ruffled leaves as it swept past his home. Last night had been good for his soul, but even after talking for hours, they had only scratched the surface of the issues from their broken friendship. _This is a more fitting end for our past then last we spoke._

''Thanks for letting me stay the night and freshen up. It's been ages since I felt this clean.''

Dagran turned and found that the unruly beard sat neatly trimmed on Zael's thin cheeks. A bit of his old glow had returned to his eyes too. He grabbed the satchel and tossed it toward him. He smiled when seeing that his fast reflexes immediately kicked in and caught it without ease. ''For the journey ahead...''

''Thanks.'' Zael adjusted the bag against his left side. ''I hope your new life continues being good to you.''

Dagran nodded. Pain shot through his chest despite being content with the choice of not joining him. Old habits were hard to get rid of, but he had to stand his ground or Zael would just continue using him as a crutch. Never respecting that his time was worth something, and never learning that any effort between people comes with a price. ''For old times sake, I can give you one last advice If you're interested.''

''Shoot.''

''I would look into Calista's past for clues. Perhaps you two can summon the Outsider and ask it to return energy to the planet?''

Zael's mouth formed into an O-shape and then into a smile. ''and once again you prove why you made a better leader than me. I never once thought about that possibility, but it makes perfect sense.''

Dagran chuckled and held out his hand. ''I wish you luck.''

Zael took his hand and gave it a strong squeeze. His gaze hopeful and sad at the same time. He gave one last smile before turning to walk down the road. Dagran watched him, thankful for Cookie who rubbed herself against his legs. Reminding him of his new life as pain from watching his old life walk away from him.

Zael stopped after a few steps and turned around again. ''Is there a chance we might mend our friendship?''

''Maybe, but it would never be like before,'' Dagran said. ''Our old issues will have to be worked out or they would continue to haunt us and cause trouble. Which would be nothing but a big waste of time.''

Zael looked thoughtful. ''And what would your terms be?''

Dagran was impressed that what they talked about yesterday had taken root. ''We have to make boundaries which both of us are satisfied with. I am done giving away my time and not receive back what I give. Never again will I dance to someone else's tune. A friendship needs to be balanced and honest.''

Zael nodded and Dagran felt hopeful when seeing the look of understanding on the other man's face. ''If you respect those terms then you know where to find me, but if you don't then please leave me alone.''

Fin.


End file.
